Written by Linda Mains
Anyway, ,one day the religious fanatic is propelled out of the birthing canal, into his loving Christian parents arm's. Then one day, these ambitious little monkey's, discover “Jesus”...praise him! That's when a whole new world opens up for these special type of “believers.” Now here's my first major question regarding the “R.F” or “religious fanatic.” Why do some of us, but not just Christians either, feel the need to push their religious views of; “you have to believe in ****** or you're going to hell?” I personally believe that the Greeks and Roman's had way more fun in their lives, before Christianity and religious fanatics took over their life’s. That's when the Romans discovered, how to silence the Christian religious fanatic, threw death and torture. I believe that these murder's where created by the insanity that these types of fanatics drove them too. These types of crazy peoples believes, include, but are not limited to; the only way you can get into heaven is threw Jesus Christ, and some other fanatical B.S. the list of these types of idiots, blah, blah, blah, goes on and on. Which has been spilled out of their over zealot asses. Now what that means is, that if you are unlucky enough to be stuck in a car, train, plain or in any room with these people, they will drive you crazy.
Don't act like you guys and gals don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about those special type of religious fanatics, that have to throw brochure after brochure, in your face, about how your a sinner if you don't believe, and that their faith or religion is the best religion on the planet. And if you know what's good for you, you will join their religious order. You'll see statements like these in that brochure that says; “You're a sinner REPENT!” In my favorite show called American dad, the father character says after two children in that cartoon made for adults say; “we believe in Jesus!” He replies; “Oh that's great, Jesus is great! But you know he's a murder victim, right kids?”
All joking aside, and in all actuality...in the light of something called truth, and not make believe. Jesus was murdered by the Romans! If you believe that he wasn't just some fictional character, made up by some dude to control the masses. Actually Crucifixion kids, was something that was used as a brutal form of torture, to kill criminals. Thank God Jesus wasn't burned at the stake, otherwise millions and billions of people threw out history, would have been wearing a flaming dead Jewish dude around there necks. Man! Easter would have been really weird too, with a flaming Jesus on a marry go round, tied to a flaming stake, that says aloud; “I died for your sins! Ouch that's hot! Then you'd hear screams, of blood curdling pain. Now that wouldn't of worked out as a great Holiday. When the brutality of something is too brutal, most people don't want to see it. I have to say, that those ancient disciples deserve a lot of credit, for suckering the entire world into believing, that any one man whom was murdered, “died for our sins.” As if that really happen, that's the biggest case, that I've ever heard of of turning a negative into a positive.
To all the religious fanatics out there in Never Never Land. One more time, “Jesus was killed!” And I don't care why he chose to do it, “he was killed!” Could you imagine someone on death row saying; “I've chosen to die! Now I'm going to cleanse all of you of your sins.” What? God! Would everybody wake the hell up! So please could you R.F's out there, please stop stopping us while we're walking down the street, to tell us your good news. I love messing with these people.
An R.F and I in a religious conversation;
R.F: Did you hear the good news?
Linda Mains: What the war is over?
R.F: No! Did you hear the good news?
Linda Mains: Yes I heard...Obama killed Osama Bin Laden.
R.F: NO! DID YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS? THAT JESUS DIED FOR YOUR SINS!
Linda Mains: Oh, I'm sorry I'm a Buddhist.
I love doing that, there is absolutely nothing a fanatic can say to that. Unless they're really fanatical, then they'll say;
R.F: Buddhists worship idols! So if you don't convert you won't be allowed threw the pearly gates of heaven.
Linda Mains: Well I used to be a Satanist...which was better? Buddhism or Satanism?
R.F: Oh Buddhism is a lot better then Satanism!
At that point, these crazies will finally leave me alone, to allow me to take care of the the rest of my day.
I hate saying this, but why couldn't America have been founded on “freedom from religion?” That's when you and I can go about our days, without the R.F extremists “good news” hassling our life’s. OK...maybe that's a bit much, but how about a National Holiday free of religion?” That would be a day when people are allowed to be themselves, without the nagging worry, if, what they're doing is going to rocket them threw the gates of hell!
My next big question is...who decided that being gay was wrong? OK...so one day God was obviously picking his butt and God had nothing better to do that day. Just like many of our right winged republican party members, when he said this to some sheep herder 3000 years ago.
God in a thundering voice: “hey you!”
Sheep Herder: “who me?”
God: “yes you! My favorite T.V. Show is ending for the season!”
Sheep Herder: “your what?”
God: “Skip it! Look! Pay attention...I am really having a problem with all the gay people in the world right now. So Sheep Herder get out your stick and go and get some ink and write this down. Anyone whose caught fagging-off, will go rocketing to hell!”
Sheep Herder: “OK GOD?”
God: “P.S. Sheep Herder, soon my son Jesus will get killed, and cleanse you of all your sins! Did you get that Sheep Herder?”
Sheep Herder: “yes God...I did.”
God: Oh good, I'm glad you understand that. Anyway, if all those fagots don't repent, in the name of my future son, and take him on as their only Lord and Savior. All of those butt and vagina lovers, will go rocketing to hell!”
Sheep Herder: “Yes God...I believe I wrote that all down.”
OK, so I have a little problem with organized religion which promotes bigotry and violence against certain groups of people, threw the supposed written word of God. I kid you not! These disgusting opinions, are even on my facbook account. Me, myself and I, would have loved, having two gay fathers or mothers. Why? Because they probably would have been a lot better, then the shitty heterosexual parents, that I did get stuck with. It says somewhere on on my face book account, where some R.F or religious fanatic, has runny mouth and is saying; that being gay is some kind of crime to God, and that Gays shouldn't be allowed to raise any children. What? I believe anyone that's not a child molester or who doesn't abuse kids...should be allowed to raise kids. It takes at least two good people to raise kids or one good person to raise kids. Let's face facts not all heterosexual parents are good parents! Let's take a persons goodness, case by case, and not judge any group as a whole because of their sexuality. Which to me is simply retarded and makes humanity look really stupid. Sex happens in the bedroom, and that’s where it should stay, it shouldn't be a determining factor, in whether any “person” should be allowed to have kids. So what does it take to raise kids? It takes two good people to do it. Hell some times it only takes one good person to raise a kid. It really doesn't matter what sexuality the parents are into as long as they are good parents. Why? Because sexuality does not make a good person, people make good people!
To end this post, I have this friend whom was given a little cracker jack, like gift sized, mini pamphlet that read; “are you a good person?” My question was, wouldn't it take more then just one sentence stuffed on a cracker jack sized gift card, to determine that? Just like it takes more then a judgmental religious fanatics view, to judge who's damned for eternity and who not!
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