Written by Linda Mains
Yea, it was a book written by a white woman, that was dedicated to the lives and the pathetic conditions that the black maids of Mississippi dealt with from their up tight, white, aristocratic women bosses. Whom where raised and bread into racism. When I watched this movie...it brought up a lot of emotion. Why? Because I come from an uptight 1950's and 1960's household. My Grandmother and Aunt are both like the up tight characters in the movie. In the movie called "The Help", which is based on the book with the same name, the upper crust of Mississippi, allowed their these maids to raise their children. One woman, didn't even attempt during the entire movie, to take care of her own child...simply because, she didn't like the way her baby looked. Now if I hadn't grown up around racism, from my Caucasian relatives, I might have thought that the movie was based on fiction, but I know it's based in the truth.
This movie couldn't have hit home any harder for me. The pressures of growing up in a family, that's has taught you to exclude certain races from your dating agenda, simply because of their race. This same family which has also tried to teach me, a defunct set of moral values, that where old and tired, when they where handed down to me. My family never expect very much from me. Why? Simply because I'm a woman. The only thing that was expected of me, was that I should learn how to cook and clean, and then get married to some dusty man some where and settle down. Oh...but he had better be a white or he had better be a Jewish guy. Both those types of guys where acceptable, if, they came from the right side of the tracks. Meaning they could not be white trash or from poverty stricken families. I was pimped from birth to believe this ideology...and so were a lot of American women, whom where growing up in the 1980's and 1990's. Why? Because our Grandma's and Grandfather's...or just our older relatives, whom strictly followed their own schedule with racism, and wanted to ingrain that defunct ideology into every young child's mind within hearing distance. Their ideology of bigotry and hate, against Hispanic people and against people of color is long lasting and standing. Will this ideology of bigotry and hate ever change? I'm really not sure.
What would I know about it, you're probably asking me. Well before my Grandmother had gotten to old to remember to be a racist. Her and my mother, were constantly fighting, basically, because my Grandmother could never get over the fact that my mother was Hispanic. Oh my God! Well back in the 70's and early 80's, even though California had come a long way, in it's fight against racism and bigotry...it still had a million miles to go. It's funny, but after my mother had left my father, then becoming a maid, she eventually made the choice to change her life. Why? Because it wasn't like the way her racist employers where going to change the way they actually felt about Hispanic people.
The uptight rich Californian white women, where and still are aren't much nicer to the Hispanic help, just like they weren't very nice, to the maids whom where black in the 1940's and 1950's, 60's. You will still hear these up tight bitches, accusing maids of stealing and every other unimaginable insult, and accusation that these women can come up with to make their maids life's a living hell. Has civil right progressed, and have the lives of the help really gotten any better? Some rich people, still expect back breaking work, for penny's on the dollar and I've heard a lot of stories, where Hispanic women, have been accused of the same types things that where brought up in the movie. Oh...I almost forgot about one of the biggest problems, the rich raising and taking care of their own children. I have personally also heard that a lot of Hispanic maids are raising their uptight rich employers babies and kids. As if taking responsibility for raising their own children would actually ever make the rich people change their ways? Why should they when so many Hispanic and none white women are willing to do the back breaking work of child rearing for penny's on the dollar.
America is full of rich and spoiled people, whom weren't even raised by their own parents...many have been raised by their domestic help. Now because my mother was actually Hispanic, she actually raised me...and refused to allow any one else do it. Did she go threw hell because of racism and hate, within my racist family? Yes she did! Does it sadden me, that my relatives where so shallow, that they couldn't see the hurt that they caused both her and I? Yes it does! But just like in the movie "the help," it's hard to forgive but because it's family, it's just something that you have to do.
I changed the way, that I believe and feel about other races, simply because, I like the main character in the movie, had the courage to change, and saw the kind of pain that any individual, could inflict threw racism, on another, simply by talking down to someone. In America this type of mentality, that the rich has against what they consider to be "the help" or "the poor" is ingrained in our society. Will this mentality ever change? I don't know, but if all we do is hate, where is the "United" in the "united states?" Together we stand but divided we fall. The book and the movie have had huge consequences on us as individuals...these thoughts have dominated the way many of us view others and ourselves in society. When you are born into this type of wrong type of thinking of the haves against the have nots...that's when your trouble in life really begins. Because in the real world...it doesn't matter what you have, what really matters is "who you are!" And who you are, should not have to be all about your race. It was hard for me to watch the movie "the help," because I actually became embarrassed by what the book and movie was saying all of which I know to be true. Some of the choices that our relatives have made where wrong, and once you realize that there is no turning back.
This movie couldn't have hit home any harder for me. The pressures of growing up in a family, that's has taught you to exclude certain races from your dating agenda, simply because of their race. This same family which has also tried to teach me, a defunct set of moral values, that where old and tired, when they where handed down to me. My family never expect very much from me. Why? Simply because I'm a woman. The only thing that was expected of me, was that I should learn how to cook and clean, and then get married to some dusty man some where and settle down. Oh...but he had better be a white or he had better be a Jewish guy. Both those types of guys where acceptable, if, they came from the right side of the tracks. Meaning they could not be white trash or from poverty stricken families. I was pimped from birth to believe this ideology...and so were a lot of American women, whom where growing up in the 1980's and 1990's. Why? Because our Grandma's and Grandfather's...or just our older relatives, whom strictly followed their own schedule with racism, and wanted to ingrain that defunct ideology into every young child's mind within hearing distance. Their ideology of bigotry and hate, against Hispanic people and against people of color is long lasting and standing. Will this ideology of bigotry and hate ever change? I'm really not sure.
What would I know about it, you're probably asking me. Well before my Grandmother had gotten to old to remember to be a racist. Her and my mother, were constantly fighting, basically, because my Grandmother could never get over the fact that my mother was Hispanic. Oh my God! Well back in the 70's and early 80's, even though California had come a long way, in it's fight against racism and bigotry...it still had a million miles to go. It's funny, but after my mother had left my father, then becoming a maid, she eventually made the choice to change her life. Why? Because it wasn't like the way her racist employers where going to change the way they actually felt about Hispanic people.
The uptight rich Californian white women, where and still are aren't much nicer to the Hispanic help, just like they weren't very nice, to the maids whom where black in the 1940's and 1950's, 60's. You will still hear these up tight bitches, accusing maids of stealing and every other unimaginable insult, and accusation that these women can come up with to make their maids life's a living hell. Has civil right progressed, and have the lives of the help really gotten any better? Some rich people, still expect back breaking work, for penny's on the dollar and I've heard a lot of stories, where Hispanic women, have been accused of the same types things that where brought up in the movie. Oh...I almost forgot about one of the biggest problems, the rich raising and taking care of their own children. I have personally also heard that a lot of Hispanic maids are raising their uptight rich employers babies and kids. As if taking responsibility for raising their own children would actually ever make the rich people change their ways? Why should they when so many Hispanic and none white women are willing to do the back breaking work of child rearing for penny's on the dollar.
America is full of rich and spoiled people, whom weren't even raised by their own parents...many have been raised by their domestic help. Now because my mother was actually Hispanic, she actually raised me...and refused to allow any one else do it. Did she go threw hell because of racism and hate, within my racist family? Yes she did! Does it sadden me, that my relatives where so shallow, that they couldn't see the hurt that they caused both her and I? Yes it does! But just like in the movie "the help," it's hard to forgive but because it's family, it's just something that you have to do.
I changed the way, that I believe and feel about other races, simply because, I like the main character in the movie, had the courage to change, and saw the kind of pain that any individual, could inflict threw racism, on another, simply by talking down to someone. In America this type of mentality, that the rich has against what they consider to be "the help" or "the poor" is ingrained in our society. Will this mentality ever change? I don't know, but if all we do is hate, where is the "United" in the "united states?" Together we stand but divided we fall. The book and the movie have had huge consequences on us as individuals...these thoughts have dominated the way many of us view others and ourselves in society. When you are born into this type of wrong type of thinking of the haves against the have nots...that's when your trouble in life really begins. Because in the real world...it doesn't matter what you have, what really matters is "who you are!" And who you are, should not have to be all about your race. It was hard for me to watch the movie "the help," because I actually became embarrassed by what the book and movie was saying all of which I know to be true. Some of the choices that our relatives have made where wrong, and once you realize that there is no turning back.
1 comment:
I suppose I'm very fortunate in being raised by my parents & both sets of grandparents, one set living on a farm employing a Mexican man his family with him & providing a house in the months/years they lived in West Texas during farm season. My parents nor grandparents rarely had a harsh word about any one or race I can ever recall. I grew up not thinking of them in any other ways as anyone else I knew or grew up around. Looking back I think I was naive & uniformed about the race & rights struggle going in the country. Likely because most things in our small town in rural Texas weren't much publicized if controversial so most were there but under the radar, so to speak, as we grew up. I don't know if I'm fortunate or not not having the experiences attitudes & environment you grew up in to inform & shape my world view as it did yours. I do know I was blessed being brought up as I was for now in my adult years I have retained & grown up more fully into the attitudes & views I was raised in. I hope I've influenced & shaped others' attitudes & actions by my own in the years gone by but I realize I've much to learn & know yet about the struggle against racism & am aware I can never understand completely what so many have gone through to get to where things are today. There is still much & many miles to travel to get to the point we really all should have arrived at by now.
I truly appreciate your thoughts & the sharing of your life experiences & story of your growing up as well Linda. I hope I get the chance to see the movie too but may have to wait until it arrives on satellite that I may have access to it. Thank you for your blog as well. Your writing is excellent & I enjoyed it so very much. Keep up the good work & writing.
tommy crosby
(sorry, no profile to post under) :-/
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