By Linda Mains
My life as a woman...it isn't and hasn't been easy, being a woman in the 20th and 21st century, men are a complex and are a complicated subject these days. Male models are the worst! I remember when I dated a Calvin Klein model named Brian, and I couldn't understand his English accent, I also totally sucked because for the life of me, I also couldn't remember his name, which was Brain. I have no idea why I couldn't remember his name? I know that fact really pissed him off, he was hung with a face of a God, there was only one problem; he was like the G.Q. pictures that he graced, he was a very one-dimensional man...who was and still is an exceptional dresser! Yes, I have dated some exceptionally, good-lucking men. Brian was even in a Mariah Carey video...and all he had to say about her was, that she is a "big boned woman!" How did I meet a man like that, well I worked at the Star Strip in the middle of Beverly Hills, for over 5 years.
I have really never been that impressed by the rich and the so-called famous...or the men that believe that they are those guys. When the reality of the matter is; if you haven't made a million by singing, making movies, staring in them, or gracing the pages of any magazine...then, I'm sorry to have to inform you, that you are not really famous. Now Brian the G.Q model, really was, and lived in a condo in the middle of Beverly Hills, down the street from his modeling agency. Now most porn stars are just really popular...but I really believe, unless you have passed the million dollar mark, you are not famous, you may just be, really popular. You might be able to pay your bills and pass the time in a sexually-addicted type of way, but that does not mean, that your sexual-acts on film or in a magazine, can or will ever make you really famous. Simply put, if the general public has to be 18 and above to see you anywhere, then millions and billions of people world-wide; "they don't have a friken clue to who you are!"
So if you, like I, have been unlucky enough to date the rich, famous or not so rich or famous, just the really popular. Then you like I, will have learned...that being a woman, and dating these type of guys, is a real "bitch!" But it's not just the famous or the simi-famous, that are a pain in the ass to date; dating is a nightmare in L.A.!
So why is dating such a pain-in-the-ass in L.A? I believe there is just to much tude, or attitude coming from some of these pompous-arrogant guys who think; I'm so hot and your so lucky to have me, type of douche-bags! So I'm back in the saddle, after dumping the wanna-be-famous, but mostly broke douche-bag porn-star, who called himself Seth Dickens. I've dated 5 of these types of winners, and I am so over them, and all of their bullshit ways. Look! Any man should know, that women don't like and loath, and hate, hearing about other women. If you're a guy who's a performer; learn this clear-cut-fact, the less you talk about your "assignments" and other women, with your girl, the longer your relationship is going to last. It's like getting paid to bang, the mostly not so hot, whom call themselves female talent...isn't enough for these guys they have to constantly talk about them too. My ex just had to talk these bitches up, all the time, something he did 24/7. I just got so tired of his drama and bullshit, some of these crazy women, even followed me around...it was nuts! So just like the wicked witch from the "Wizard of Oz," I have to be constantly worried, that my wicked-witch of an ex-boyfriend, will come back on his broom stick, in an attempt, to sneak back into my world...because when you can't kick yourself, it's so much more fun to kick someone else; that someone else was ME!
So am I terrified to start dating again; "HELL YES I AM!" I've already had 6 offers; one guy even stopped me, while I was walking to Starbucks, to throw his number at me, from his car. Men are crazy over me, which with the way I'm feeling, is really terrifying! The last thing I want to do right now, is meet someone whom might actually be worse then my ex...doubt that that's possible...but with the way men are today; it might be possible? So what do I do? I know my ex-is screwing anything with two legs, that doesn't go MOO! But should I act that same way? Yes I could be having sex with any fuggly man, that I could get my hands on...but would that make me feel any better, or would that make feel worse then I already do?
So why did I stay in such a bad relationship in the first place? Well it was easier then going back into the awful L.A dating pool, and having to deal with all the head-tripping, game-players, that are out there. With the waiting to be called, hoping that I'm not stood up...first time sex, hoping that it won't suck so bad, that I will have to say to the guy; "um me and my ex, well, we've gotten back together." I'll also be hoping, that the guy, isn't hiding some really weird-fetish, that is an embarrassment to anyone in shouting distance. Like one of my ex's, who has a weird "pool-toy" fetish. Yes it's an actual fetish, there's nothing like watching you're boyfriend, getting off on top of a beach-ball? It helps if he is model skinny, but still it's pretty weird, especially if he looks like Jesus and is Jewish. Plus what bad-habit will the guy have...will he be a chain smoking, crack smoking, pervert? Will I find kitty porn in his house? Will his baby's momma, be calling, and bugging him for money all the time? God! I don't want to deal with dating right now....ahhhhhhhhh! Although begging and pleading for my ex to come back; isn't an option either! That would be like the movie SAW...if the killer asked me; "so Linda you have two options, either beg for you ex-boyfriend to keep dating you, or take that saw and cut your own foot off! You have two choices...pick one!" I would grab that saw, and start sawing my own foot off! So all I can do at this point, is to start dating again...I hate the game-playing and all the new stupid rules, and B.S, that I might be confronted with. American women really do have to tolerate a lot of B.S just to put themselves on the dating-auction-block, to be able to date anyone these days. Hopefully; the next guy that I wind up with, won't be gay, bi, confused, or into tranies, or all of the above! hopefully; I like every American woman has the right to, we will all find our happily forever after match. Maybe he won't be a prince, but hopefully he won't wind up turning into a frog.
I have really never been that impressed by the rich and the so-called famous...or the men that believe that they are those guys. When the reality of the matter is; if you haven't made a million by singing, making movies, staring in them, or gracing the pages of any magazine...then, I'm sorry to have to inform you, that you are not really famous. Now Brian the G.Q model, really was, and lived in a condo in the middle of Beverly Hills, down the street from his modeling agency. Now most porn stars are just really popular...but I really believe, unless you have passed the million dollar mark, you are not famous, you may just be, really popular. You might be able to pay your bills and pass the time in a sexually-addicted type of way, but that does not mean, that your sexual-acts on film or in a magazine, can or will ever make you really famous. Simply put, if the general public has to be 18 and above to see you anywhere, then millions and billions of people world-wide; "they don't have a friken clue to who you are!"
So if you, like I, have been unlucky enough to date the rich, famous or not so rich or famous, just the really popular. Then you like I, will have learned...that being a woman, and dating these type of guys, is a real "bitch!" But it's not just the famous or the simi-famous, that are a pain in the ass to date; dating is a nightmare in L.A.!
So why is dating such a pain-in-the-ass in L.A? I believe there is just to much tude, or attitude coming from some of these pompous-arrogant guys who think; I'm so hot and your so lucky to have me, type of douche-bags! So I'm back in the saddle, after dumping the wanna-be-famous, but mostly broke douche-bag porn-star, who called himself Seth Dickens. I've dated 5 of these types of winners, and I am so over them, and all of their bullshit ways. Look! Any man should know, that women don't like and loath, and hate, hearing about other women. If you're a guy who's a performer; learn this clear-cut-fact, the less you talk about your "assignments" and other women, with your girl, the longer your relationship is going to last. It's like getting paid to bang, the mostly not so hot, whom call themselves female talent...isn't enough for these guys they have to constantly talk about them too. My ex just had to talk these bitches up, all the time, something he did 24/7. I just got so tired of his drama and bullshit, some of these crazy women, even followed me around...it was nuts! So just like the wicked witch from the "Wizard of Oz," I have to be constantly worried, that my wicked-witch of an ex-boyfriend, will come back on his broom stick, in an attempt, to sneak back into my world...because when you can't kick yourself, it's so much more fun to kick someone else; that someone else was ME!
So am I terrified to start dating again; "HELL YES I AM!" I've already had 6 offers; one guy even stopped me, while I was walking to Starbucks, to throw his number at me, from his car. Men are crazy over me, which with the way I'm feeling, is really terrifying! The last thing I want to do right now, is meet someone whom might actually be worse then my ex...doubt that that's possible...but with the way men are today; it might be possible? So what do I do? I know my ex-is screwing anything with two legs, that doesn't go MOO! But should I act that same way? Yes I could be having sex with any fuggly man, that I could get my hands on...but would that make me feel any better, or would that make feel worse then I already do?
So why did I stay in such a bad relationship in the first place? Well it was easier then going back into the awful L.A dating pool, and having to deal with all the head-tripping, game-players, that are out there. With the waiting to be called, hoping that I'm not stood up...first time sex, hoping that it won't suck so bad, that I will have to say to the guy; "um me and my ex, well, we've gotten back together." I'll also be hoping, that the guy, isn't hiding some really weird-fetish, that is an embarrassment to anyone in shouting distance. Like one of my ex's, who has a weird "pool-toy" fetish. Yes it's an actual fetish, there's nothing like watching you're boyfriend, getting off on top of a beach-ball? It helps if he is model skinny, but still it's pretty weird, especially if he looks like Jesus and is Jewish. Plus what bad-habit will the guy have...will he be a chain smoking, crack smoking, pervert? Will I find kitty porn in his house? Will his baby's momma, be calling, and bugging him for money all the time? God! I don't want to deal with dating right now....ahhhhhhhhh! Although begging and pleading for my ex to come back; isn't an option either! That would be like the movie SAW...if the killer asked me; "so Linda you have two options, either beg for you ex-boyfriend to keep dating you, or take that saw and cut your own foot off! You have two choices...pick one!" I would grab that saw, and start sawing my own foot off! So all I can do at this point, is to start dating again...I hate the game-playing and all the new stupid rules, and B.S, that I might be confronted with. American women really do have to tolerate a lot of B.S just to put themselves on the dating-auction-block, to be able to date anyone these days. Hopefully; the next guy that I wind up with, won't be gay, bi, confused, or into tranies, or all of the above! hopefully; I like every American woman has the right to, we will all find our happily forever after match. Maybe he won't be a prince, but hopefully he won't wind up turning into a frog.
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