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Friday, February 17, 2012

Harry the Aliens - Arch Enemy - Plans Kidnapping Obama!

By Linda Mains

So Hairy was trying to figure out at that particular moment if President Obama was going to out stay his welcome…but at the same time, he really did think it was “really insane” to have a live human President hanging out with him at his alien pad.

Cosmo was back with the beam of light tracker, which was sent to the White house to fetch him back. Currently he was looking at the rather clumsy-looking, cream-colored, life-form that was standing in front of him. President Obama was looking at him, “hey, do all your dog’s look like this?” Oh our dogs are just like your Earth dogs, they come in all shapes and sizes. Too bad I can never mention meeting you Hairy; otherwise we could have a great intergalactic-dog-business, between the Earth and your planet; what’s the name of your planet anyway? Oh it’s Alpha Century, excuse my rudeness.

You’re my host here on this ship, and I’m the guest, it’s really no problem…I’m just really glad to be away from the Earths drama, and all those stupid Republicans anyway.

Excuse me but why are you upset with what you call Republicans? Is what you call Republicans another life form?

Oh no, in our world there are different countries, I come from America. I’m the President in America; some call me Commander and chief, personally I just love that. I’m in control of the House of Representatives, and some other really boring-important-political things. Now the Republican members whom make up half of that house, are some of the dumbest Party members in our government…they’re the Republicans.

May I ask you why they are dumb? Oh, that’s an easy one…they’re making their stance against me to win the Presidential election. They’re all about women’s rights and something we call abortion, as some of their main-points to win over the other “retards” we call REAL RIGHTWINGED REPUBLICANS.

What is Abortion? Only answer that question if you don’t mind me asking. Hairy that’s when a woman who doesn’t want a baby usually because she can’t afford to take care of it, or for some other dire reason…has it surgically sucked out of her body. Hairy put his tree fingered hand to his mouth (gasping), while looking at his youngest kid sitting on the couch…feeling sick to his stomach; I really wish I wouldn’t have asked you that.   

In the morning the cloned President woke up next to his loving wife and said; in a very robotic way, “I am hungry, must have food, you are woman! Go get me my food!” Michele looked at him, oh my God what the hell is wrong with him this morning? So she got up out of bed slipped on her slippers, then went down the long hall, and down the stairs to call on the servants to tell them; Olga, Obamas in one of his special-moods this morning, can you get him his favorite…he’s got a big meeting and he really needs to snap out of, whatever is bothering him this morning. He’s acting really weird. OK, Misses Obama, I will get the breakfast A.S.A.P…I’m on it. So the maid went running to the White House kitchen, to make President Obama’s breakfast.

Harries daughter finally got home and was immediately star-struck by President Obama…Daddy, Daddy, is that who I think it is? Yes Yamazin it is! Nice dad…can I talk to him. Yes…only for a moment. He’s our guest right Daddy…you didn’t abduct him, did you? No Yamazin I didn’t, actually, he wanted to take a vacation from what he calls those stupid Republicans. What’s a Republican daddy? Well it’s some really complicated Earth stuff - that gives me a freeze pain in my central lobe.

Meanwhile on Earth; there was a problem in the White House, because the cloned Obama didn’t want to take a shower, an was in the process of running around the White house almost naked.

Michele was thinking; I’m so glad the kids are visiting their Grandmother right now. So she yelled at Obama, "get your naked black-ass back in here!" Then she caught herself, did I just scream that? Well the secret service has just heard my black side before. Guess the secrets out now, and then she giggled to herself. While chasing who she thought was her husband around the White house.

At that moment one of President Obama’s advisers ran into the room. Michele what’s wrong with the President? David can you call the Vice President…I don’t think the President is going to make that meeting today.  Yea that boring one about catching some NO NAME who kills children and parents just because he likes killing, but just like the rest of America, I can’t remember his name to save my life; she thought to herself.

Far, far away in the distant reaches of the galaxy one of Harries arch-enemies, and biggest advisories was watching this whole event unfold. He just induced an evil plot to himself, to kidnap the real Obama off of Harries ship and turn the Earth-Obama-clone evil…blah, ha, ha, ha! I will finally get even with Hairy for stealing my Alien Princess from me, while he stood there rubbing his 3 fingered hands together.

The next day on Harries ship; Obama was eating a piece of space cheese, from Harries refrigerator and Hairy just stood there and watched. He couldn’t believe it. Obama, do you want to know what that cheese is made from?

Obama had this perplexed look on his face, and was in the middle of a deep thought, about just where the cheese, his stomach was about to digest came from. Hairy do I really want to know? I’ll tell you…on our planet a giant insect, that about 5-ft-high and resembles what your people call a water-bug. We milk this bug, and let the milk ripen for 3 years, until it turns into cheese. Hey as long as I don’t have to milk it…this cheese is great. I read that earth entities can’t handle foreign food. Well not this earth person and Obama continued to mac out on the alien cheese.

Two hours latter; as if the Hairy hadn’t been talking the gospel…President Obama was seen running to the bath room while Harries 3-yr-old watched pointed and laughed. Obama headed for Harries waist receptacle, known as the toilet to continuously vomit for 30 minutes.
To be continued…    

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