Written By Linda Mains
![]()
Most of the time, I believe relationships are hard. Yes…and many, many relationships will wind up sucking for the poor saps, which are stuck in them. So why do so many relationships wind up sucking so badly? Why? Because many people around the world, feel obligated to be in relationships, due to the brain washing that we all had received as children, about how important intimate relationships would be in our lives.
But really why do most people…find themselves, trapped with a significant other at some points in their lives? Most people will wind up, with the worst possible person for them. These insignificant others won’t respect, love or honor them. So why do so many people, still take the marital plunge, into bliss or more likely then not…into HELL? Now what would humanity be like, if, we were just to remain friends and we meaning (people), never got married at all? Would what we call life…be worse or better? It would be a world where we had entire communities, which would be dedicated to having and raising our children. Would that be a more preferable way of existing, then the life sucking reality, of being trapped in quick sand with a person, that you had once thought you had loved…only to find out 20 years down the line, you discovered that A. You didn’t love or have anything in common with them. Or B. you really can’t stand the sight of this person, and if you have to see them on the first day of that 19th year, you’re going to clime up the highest mountain, and jump to your death.
Look! I understand that people need to be born…but does anybody really need to forfeit their entire lives to be in a loveless, dead relationship? Relationships between two people, whom have taken vows to love, honor and obey, until…death do they part. Vows…which will probably enslave them to each other, until the day that each one of them closes their eyes for the final count. As I write this post, my significant other, thinks I’m referring to him and to our relationship. My reply to his funny inquiry is; “sorry Charley! I’m not a narcissist and not everything in my blog posts…were written to publicize my relationship with him.” I’m also not Opera Winfrey; you’d never see me…with a picture of my face pasted upon every one of my magazine covers. Proving to people what a great writer or person I am. I write for the people who read my posts, that’s whom and what I write for. Narcissism is just not my style!
Back to the post…so even the best relationships, between any two people can become outdated. I’ve had it happen myself in the past. It was like one day; I just woke up and said to myself, “Why am I with this person?” But it didn’t take me 20 years, to realize and then come to this conclusion. But this is exactly what has happened to one of my face book friends. Who has finally realized, that he can no longer stand his 20 year relationship? Actually he was the one, who brought this topic up to me, in a face book message. I wrote one comment on my face book account, and I have gotten 27 comments before I even wrote this post about this subject.
I believe in a perfect world, a world were people wouldn’t cry. They also wouldn’t suffer or make themselves suffer, but then we don’t live in a perfect world…do we? Has a person wasted their lives by remaining in a relationship, which they really didn’t like for 20 years? At that 20 year mark, that’s when you finally realize; you don’t know or care about that person anymore. I don’t believe you wasted your life…but you have to at some point, be honest with the other person in your relationship. You’ll have to sit them down and eventually tell them, exactly how you feel about them by talking to them, and realizing that maybe they’re feeling, the same way that you do. But you’ll have to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are doing what is right for you and for your loved one. Why…because, most relationships, will never be the same after a revelation like that.
A guy came over to our apartment and told me of a woman with terminal breast cancer, whom was married to her childhood sweetheart. Now she knew she was dying…and she wanted to be with one other person, beside her childhood sweetheart. So she told him, she was leaving him, to be with someone else, before crossing from this life to the next. Yes…it was something that most of us would consider cruel and heartless for the other person. Although I thought it took courage, and I personally applauded her for her honesty. Just because you love someone or anyone, who may even include your own parents. You don’t have to give up your entire lives for them, if you don’t want to. Why should you or anyone do that? We all do it because of a dusty set of rules, that have been dictated to us, telling us that we have to give our entire lives to one person…that includes Jesus and or God, in some fanatical religions. The reality is; you and only you, are in charge of what happens with your destiny. So choose wisely with the rest of your lives. Why…because, it would be better to live on day in freedom, then to live your entire life in chains! You and everybody else, shouldn’t have to be trapped with a person that you no longer love, you’re not just wasting your life when you choose to do this…but you’re wasting theirs as well.
But really why do most people…find themselves, trapped with a significant other at some points in their lives? Most people will wind up, with the worst possible person for them. These insignificant others won’t respect, love or honor them. So why do so many people, still take the marital plunge, into bliss or more likely then not…into HELL? Now what would humanity be like, if, we were just to remain friends and we meaning (people), never got married at all? Would what we call life…be worse or better? It would be a world where we had entire communities, which would be dedicated to having and raising our children. Would that be a more preferable way of existing, then the life sucking reality, of being trapped in quick sand with a person, that you had once thought you had loved…only to find out 20 years down the line, you discovered that A. You didn’t love or have anything in common with them. Or B. you really can’t stand the sight of this person, and if you have to see them on the first day of that 19th year, you’re going to clime up the highest mountain, and jump to your death.
Look! I understand that people need to be born…but does anybody really need to forfeit their entire lives to be in a loveless, dead relationship? Relationships between two people, whom have taken vows to love, honor and obey, until…death do they part. Vows…which will probably enslave them to each other, until the day that each one of them closes their eyes for the final count. As I write this post, my significant other, thinks I’m referring to him and to our relationship. My reply to his funny inquiry is; “sorry Charley! I’m not a narcissist and not everything in my blog posts…were written to publicize my relationship with him.” I’m also not Opera Winfrey; you’d never see me…with a picture of my face pasted upon every one of my magazine covers. Proving to people what a great writer or person I am. I write for the people who read my posts, that’s whom and what I write for. Narcissism is just not my style!
Back to the post…so even the best relationships, between any two people can become outdated. I’ve had it happen myself in the past. It was like one day; I just woke up and said to myself, “Why am I with this person?” But it didn’t take me 20 years, to realize and then come to this conclusion. But this is exactly what has happened to one of my face book friends. Who has finally realized, that he can no longer stand his 20 year relationship? Actually he was the one, who brought this topic up to me, in a face book message. I wrote one comment on my face book account, and I have gotten 27 comments before I even wrote this post about this subject.
I believe in a perfect world, a world were people wouldn’t cry. They also wouldn’t suffer or make themselves suffer, but then we don’t live in a perfect world…do we? Has a person wasted their lives by remaining in a relationship, which they really didn’t like for 20 years? At that 20 year mark, that’s when you finally realize; you don’t know or care about that person anymore. I don’t believe you wasted your life…but you have to at some point, be honest with the other person in your relationship. You’ll have to sit them down and eventually tell them, exactly how you feel about them by talking to them, and realizing that maybe they’re feeling, the same way that you do. But you’ll have to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are doing what is right for you and for your loved one. Why…because, most relationships, will never be the same after a revelation like that.
A guy came over to our apartment and told me of a woman with terminal breast cancer, whom was married to her childhood sweetheart. Now she knew she was dying…and she wanted to be with one other person, beside her childhood sweetheart. So she told him, she was leaving him, to be with someone else, before crossing from this life to the next. Yes…it was something that most of us would consider cruel and heartless for the other person. Although I thought it took courage, and I personally applauded her for her honesty. Just because you love someone or anyone, who may even include your own parents. You don’t have to give up your entire lives for them, if you don’t want to. Why should you or anyone do that? We all do it because of a dusty set of rules, that have been dictated to us, telling us that we have to give our entire lives to one person…that includes Jesus and or God, in some fanatical religions. The reality is; you and only you, are in charge of what happens with your destiny. So choose wisely with the rest of your lives. Why…because, it would be better to live on day in freedom, then to live your entire life in chains! You and everybody else, shouldn’t have to be trapped with a person that you no longer love, you’re not just wasting your life when you choose to do this…but you’re wasting theirs as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment