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Sunday, January 1, 2012

Relationships?

By Linda Mains

Has anyone ever found themselves in a bad romance? Exactly what is a loving relationship these days? With the economy so totally screwed these days, is having a relationship in  2012 just become to difficult for many of us maintain?

When do you affirm to yourself that either it's time to start or end a relationship? As I'm sitting here by myself for like the 8th or 9th day straight...I've been pondering these complex issues by myself. I read a picture on Facebook that said; "yea, she's hot...but somewhere their is a guy whose sick of dealing with her shit." I want what everybody else wants, I want a decent relationship without any drama. I guess that makes me like 99% of the population?

I know a lot of women whom, excuse my french are total bitches...but do they like most American women have reasons for acting that way? Let me ask this question...are the men in our society so picky, mean, whacked and total head-trips, egomaniacs and egotistical pricks, which could turn you into a bitch, after having enough contact with enough of these types of men? When do you say enough is enough? When do we kick these Bozo's out of our lives?

It's funny, I should be some kind of pro by now, about getting your average-everyday douche- bag out of anyone's life...but that's hard to do, when your attached to someone, especially when you have bounded with the person. Even if that person has become the biggest pain in the ass ever for you. I'm a beautiful woman and I have dated some of the most beautiful men imaginable...I even owned the movie Dirty Love with Jenny McCarthy. After watching that movie, you can't feel badly about any breakup you may have ever been unlucky enough to have been involved in. There is a scene in that movie, when she walks in on her model boyfriend, whom is banging another woman behind her back. She walks to the refrigerator and grabs the Chinese leftovers saying while in shock; "are these still good?" If that scene doesn't make you feel better nothing will.

OK, so what if your potential break-up, had nothing to do with infidelities? Then what? What is the nice way to dump someone, whom has been really mean to you? Should you try to work it out, for like the 100th time? Or should you just fold your cards and walk away? I would love to be in another relationship where we just got along. I've been in two of those, but I believe that it takes two people, whom are willing to participate in non-verbal-violence, to make that a reality. At this point in my life...I'm so tired of changing everything I am, to be with someone. All relationships start out with; "baby I just love the way you are, you're perfect just the way you are." Then you'll get, babe, I like my women to have blond, black or red hair, it will always be the color that you don't have, that these type of men want. Or babe, I like my women to be skinnier, can you make that happen? Generally women are the ones who are 10 times more likely, to accept a man for who he is then vice versa.

Look I want happiness, just like everyone else wants...when I was 20 something a friend of mine whom was walking with me, said to me that I was a trophy girlfriend. I asked what do you mean by trophy? You know, someone that a man, is proud to walk down the street with. That was good enough for me then...but, really that's not what most people should consider a real relationship. A real relationship is based on something deeper then just your looks! Yea, looks should be a starting point, but they should not be the biases for dating anyone for the long term. There have been many guys in my life, that I loved looking at, but as soon as they started talking, I was looking for a sock to shove in their mouths, with some being simply too stupid to be my boyfriends. One jock that I used to date, who was from New York and simply stunning...great body and everything. Was the biggest idiot that I had ever met, after we had had sex, he walked into my kitchen read the back of one of my plates, and told me that the plate was made in the same place he came from. The way he said it was; "ha ha, these plates, ha ha, come from where I was born"...with this far away stare. Right then I knew, he was an idiot...at that time I was still interested in having kids, and didn't want to increase the idiot gene pool.

So if you shouldn't date someone based on looks alone, then why should you make someone your boyfriend or girlfriend? I really believe you should only keep a relationship if it is making you happy. You shouldn't date someone because they are hot, or because they are famous, rich or for any materialistic or superficial reason...you should only date that person; if they make you happy and you find yourself in love with them. Plus you should never date someone because you need your laundry done, house cleaned, your dinners made...or for any subservient reason, that's not a good enough reason to date someone either. Relationships take a lot of caring, so if you're not a very caring person, then I really am suggesting to you that you should seek a councilor advice, before attempting to be in a relationship.

Whats the worse thing that could happen for anyone in a relationship? I believe it's finding out that you have been wasting your time...with someone who really didn't care anything about you to begin with. A person who simply may only have been taking advantage of your kind personality; there should also never be a "well if you do this for me, we can have a relationship" thing going on. If any man can't be in a relationship with you, without giving you a list of things that are required to do for him...then you don't need that man in your life. No one needs a person like this wasting their precious time. In the end all we have is time, so don't waist your life, love and time, on someone whom will simply be unable to ever care about you. Because they where never real with you in the first place, and maybe they just where never that into you to begin with. Peace!

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