Things Your Mother Should Have Taught You

Your mom looked like this after finding out; your a rude ass!

Written by Linda Mains

OK here's my personal pet peeve list, of things that you should think about before doing them.

1. Burping at the table! 

• While at family gatherings.
• In front of dates.
• At gathering's with friends.
• Scratching your private parts in public.
• No I don't care how badly it itched.
• There's a place called the bathroom!

2. Not using underarm deodorant while hanging out in the public.

• Especially at concerts.
• While on buses.
• In elevators.
• Oh, indoor sporting events.
• While serving food.
• While eating at big gatherings.

3. Talking and laughing loudly at inappropriate times.

• While at work.
• While at funerals.
• While visiting a loved one in the hospital.
• While using any form of public transportation.
• While on a train, plain or automobile.
• While your trying to comfort a friend and your other friends starts; A. laughing uncontrollably or starts talking so loudly, you can't here what your friend is trying to tell you.
• On an elevator and especially while your on a cell phone.
• In the middle of a wedding.
• While at a funeral.
• In a hospital right before someone dies.
• While at the movies.
• During a serious conversation amongst friends and family.
• While at a public library.

4. People who can't dance, but try, and then have to show you, how great they can bust a move.

• Which embarrasses your friends.
• Which embarrasses your loved ones too.
• And people whom had the unfortunate luck to have hang out with this person.

5. Reasons not to hang out with drunk and drugged people.

• They talk loudly.
• They vomit everywhere.
• They will violently embarrass you in public.
• They will violently embarrass you in front of your friends.
• They act so loudly that the cops are called.
• Drugged people will act like they're O'd-ing in front of you, which scares you, because you think they're dying.
• They look high and everyone stares at you, like your the one who is doing their drugs with them.
• They'll lie to you and everyone else because they are high.
• They will be stumbling, tripping, and basically hurting themselves while they are smashed infront of you.
• They might spill drinks on you, and they might also be O'd-ing in the bathroom, while you're waiting for them.

6. Farting in front of people.

• While in public.
• At funerals.
• While in Vans, cars, or in buses.
• While at dinner.
• While at lunch.
• While at breakfast.
• While talking to the President or the Queen of England...or any important head of State.
• While it's a burning summer day, with all the windows in the car rolled up.

7. Talking about others while they are in the local vicinity

• Bad mouthing them when they can hear you.
• Bad mouthing them when your driving, and they are crossing the street in front of you.
• Bad mouthing then while they are walking down the street.
• Bad mouthing them while your on you cell phone.
• Bad mouthing and laughing with friends at them.
• Basically acting like a bitch or dick towards strangers for absolutly no reason. 

8. Making fun of the crippled out loud!

• Like they aren't human and can't understand what your doing.
• laughing loudly in front of them.
• doing it in an office while working with a disabled person.
• While walking down the street. 

9. Picking your nose in public.

• Especially while driving!
• While amongst friends.
• While at a wedding or a funeral. 

10. Never use all the last bit of toilet paper;

• at your house.
• while at a party. 

11. You should never call a person fat;

• Even if they ask you.
• Even if it's the truth.
• Even if that dress does make her look fat. 

12. While at the office;

• Don't eat other peoples food.
• Don't eaves drop on other peoples conversations.
• Don't gossip about a co-worker.
• Don't ask your co-worker to cover you shift, (everybody hates that!)
• Don't ask to borrow something, especially a cell phone every 10 minutes.
• Don't constantly ask your co-workers, if they'll go to Starbucks for you.
• What ever you do, don't pull any in office sabotage.
• Don't mindlessly forget to flush the toilet.
• Don't double park your car in the parking lot.
• Don't talk about a co-worker with a customer.  

13. For men;

• Always remember to lift the seat!
• Learn how to put stuff away! It's an art.
• Don't but into our conversations with our girlfriends.
• Never tell your girlfriend she looks fat, (instead ask her if she'd like to go on a hike with you.)
• Don't drink all the milk, and forget to tell a person, that your drank it all.
• Our girlie products where not meant for you, so stop using them. (my ex-boyfriend did that and it drove me crazy.)
• If your going to call; "then call."
• Awnser your voice mail, e-messages and the like!
• Don't lie, no one likes that!  

14. For women;

• Yes your hair looks nice!
• Don't be a flake, call the guy to break a date.
• If you say your gonna be there, then be there.
• Keep your promises to your kids.
• Don't gossip it makes you look ugly.
• Don't talk about your friends behind their backs, one day you won't have any if you do.
• Don't burp, fart or pick your nose, while on a date.
• Don't chew gum like a horse in front of your man or loved ones.
• Don't cheat on the guy just dump his ass.
• Don't be a phony, no one like that shit.
• Learn how to keep a secrets that friends tell you.
• Don't spread drama about your friends around.
• And keep or try to keep most of your negativity to yourself. 

15. Good friends;

• Good friends know when to shut the hell up, about personal things about you.
• Good friends would want you to have the best life possible.
• Good friends would be willing to take a bullet for you, not dig a knife in your back.
• Good Friends will always have your back.
• Good friends aren't always out for whats best for them.
• Good friend will share whatever they have with you.
• Good friends will let you borrow money when things get tough.
• Good friends won't ever put you down in front of people.
• Good Friends won't talk behind your back either.
• But a really good friend, will treat you like a brother or a sister.