OK, this is my deep thought for this dreary Sunday. I guess it's going to continue to be overcast. Overcast with more dark clouds in California today. Do any of my party people out there...hate the rain as much as I do? I have a little story for you guys.
During the first flash flood this year. Guess what I went and did? I decided...not to call a friend to get a ride, but I also didn't ask anyone at work for one either. This happened right before the clouds, decided to drop two tones of watter on my head. So I decided...I just had to leave from work, right before this happened. Now this particular flash flood happened in a period of 20 minutes. Wasn't that smart? Let me tell you something. My type of thinking can get you killed! Sometimes asking for help from your friends, is empowering and isn't a weak action.
It was raining bull frogs outside that day. The weather was so bad, the wind was hurling crap, all over the place. Outside looked like an opening scene from the wizard of Oz! Does anyone know what scene I'm talking about? It's the scene where Dorthy's house, was picked up by a hurricane. Which was then hurled, hundreds of feet threw the air. Not wanting to impose on anyone, because...I forgot to bring my car. I was ride-less! Plus I also didn't have an umbrella...talk about unprepared. So party people, what did my moronic-self do next? I did what any moron might do....if they desperately wanted to go home, and where to stupid to ask their friends for a ride. I looked around the office kitchen, for any thing that could be used in a rain storm.
You're probably asking yourself...Linda what did you use as a umbrella? Well, I found the only thing, available to me. Something that might actually stop the rain. Can you guess what that thing was? If you guessed a Glad Trash bag. You just hit the jackpot! So I took the Glad-Trash-Bag. Slit a hole at the top of it. Threw it over me head. Put my face threw that whole. After putting my rigged rain-coat-Glad Bag on, I looked like some kind of a crazy homeless person. A person you might see going to a Halloween party...as a black coat. Yes, I know it was a jimmied-rain-jacket. I also knew, I looked, crazy and ridiculous. Even though I looked totally ridiculous! My looks didn't stop some dude. Whom was driving his Lincoln out of a driveway, that I was about to cross, from hitting on me. Yes, rapists and killers see rain-storms as opportunities. So this douche asked me..."do you want a ride?" My awnser:"thanks but no thanks!" Look it was either, that Glad Bag or I'd have no protection from that flash-flood.
When I left the office that day. I really wasn't prepared for the wrath of God weather, that was going on outside. Man...I've never experienced anything like what happened that day, during this particular rain storm. The wind almost blew me off of the side walk. Walking was difficult, it was like someone was pushing me backwards, every time I took a step. As I inched closer and closer to the intersection. I realized something, I realized that the streets where flooded. What happened to me next, was like a scene out of Raising Arizona; when Nickolas Cage messed up his shoes running down the street. I realized like he realized in that movie, that my shoes didn't stand a chance against this flood! My feet became watter logged. So every time I crossed a flooded intersection. My socks sucked up more and more watter. When I finally reached the bus stop my feet where numb and cold. I actually had to ring out my socks and go sock-less that day.
I'm only 5"2" that's pretty short. And yes party people, I hate the shorty songs. You know what type of songs, songs with lyrics like, "shorty in the club." OK back to the story. If I was a couple of inches shorter, I'd be height impaired,( when I was a kid, I was only 4"3". I almost had to have injections, to make me grow.). So here I was, trying to cross the street, that had turned into a river. I just knew...A. that I was going to get soaked by the down pour and B. I also was going to get soaked by the flooded streets. There wasn't anything that I could do about my self-imposed soaking. So since I figured, I was going to get wet anyway. I jumped right into the flooded street, which had turned into a river. But...there was only one problem. Yes that's right. As if things couldn't get any worse. All of the streets where flooded, and there where 4 of them.
All of this was funny to me, because...when I finally reached the fourth intersection. I hoped into the river. It was a river, that was up to my knees. Treading threw all four of these rivers, just to get to the other side, was a huge task. Plus it was frightening, I didn't know if they'd carry me away with them. But..during this whole ordeal, at least when I was crossing those rivers...I really wasn't cold.
At this point...I felt like one of the first American pioneers. I was headed face long into the opposing weather. Without knowing if I was going to make it alive! After 20 minutes of being abused by the elements. When I finally did reach my destination, which was the bus stop. I resembled a crazy person, who had just stepped out of a shower, wearing a glad bag. Hey, but that glad bag, helped my upper body, from getting wet. Everything from the waist down was soaked. So as I sat on the bus bench, while wringing out my socks.
I shivered until the bus arrived. I was shivering from the start of hypothermia, plus my fingers where turning blue. When I finally did make it back home. My in the twilight-zone-room ate, who didn't even realize that a flash flood had happened, asked me: "why didn't you call?," and then told me..."You know I would have picked you up!" I'm like..."Whatever?" Later during the last flash flood that California just had last weekend. A News Anchor women told the viewers, that lots of people get killed, by being washed away by flood Waters in intersections. The same intersections, that I fearlessly treaded threw! I was a warrior that day with my glad bag rain coat. The next day my techno-record-mixing boss...thought it was the funniest thing, that he had ever heard. He couldn't stop laughing. That's the end of this posts deep thought.
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