Written by Linda Main
So, I've been writing for two whole days, no, or is it three? I Still have the flu, so don't judge my writing skills. I feel like my head is stuck, in a big plastic bag, and I'm hyperventilating.
So here's my next mind blowing funny thought for today, well it's not funny if you really think about it. But, I guess, it might be, if you like cruel-sick-humor. OK, your like, please for God's sake Sophia, get to the fricking point. Alright, the voices in my head, please stop yelling at me. Stop yelling on my cold medicine stupor, and get to the point. Has anyone ever tried crossing the street lately? Do you realize, that every time you walk out your front door, you are really taking your own life into your hands. Oh my God, I didn't realize, until this month, just how many bad drivers there are driving trucks out there.
OK, as I eat lunch, I'm writing this, for your information. Well, I love this T.V show called Tosh.O, the comedian who makes fun of people, who put their vid's on the web. He had this one black guy on his show, who was rapping. I guess, he was trying to make a hand held rap video, with his friend's help. Anyway, he started bouncing around, attempting to rap, in the middle of the street. Can you guys ques what happened next: to this wizard turned rapper? Home-rapper got hit! Oh, if you're thinking by a car, you'd be dead
wrong. He actually got hit by an Ice Cream Truck. Man, even Ice Cream Truck Drivers, can't drive anymore. It's not like he couldn't see him dancing around: acting like a mad-man in the middle of the street. This douche-bag ice cream truck driver just didn't care.
A little secret for you guys, in wonder land out there: I hate truck drivers! Most of them should not be driving a truck or any vehicle for that matter. Maybe a lawn mower, if it doesn't actually have to be driven. I'm not talking about the guys whom haul tons of stuff that we use every day. I'm talking about those idiots out there, who where bad drivers in the first place. Who actually thought: "people will stop thinking I look gay, when I drive this." Just like the dudes, who drive sports car's, who are thinking: A. "I will get laid more, while I drive this. Or B. "I won't look so old, while driving this." There's only one difference between sports car's and Trucks: size! You really need to know the rules of the road, before you should be allowed to operate a 2 ton vehicle. Wow, this month alone, I have almost been hit 5 times by trucks that where illegally turning, or going threw red stop signs.
Look, you can survive, or you might survive a crash with a sports car, if he or she isn't driving over 30 mph threw a cross walk. But could anyone survive being hit by a truck, that is going faster than 15 miles an hour? Can everyone say: probably not. Worse case scenario, you are trying to cross the street, dressed in your wall street best suit: why? You where going to pick up some Starbucks for the crew at the office, and you wanted some exercise. You didn't want to find your car, or something. So you really weren't paying attention to the fact, that the light was in the middle of turning red. The light had started to flash. So you started walking anyway. You where thinking at that moment that: "everyone is going to be so happy that I got them their serving of Vanilla Lattes today." Then suddenly, a truck driving threw the intersection at 20 miles and hour, because he's about to be late for work. Due to the fact he has been busy snorting meth, to get his day started, right before heading to the office. Then he hits you while you're crossing the street. There goes the Vanilla Lattes up in the sky, tops have flipped off, coffee's splashing everywhere. Meanwhile, your lying on the ground, chocking on your own blood, about to breath your last breath. Your last thoughts probably might be: "I should have taken my car", and "damn I hate trucks!" I mean that's extreme, but trust me lots of truck driving idiots, don't care about your life or mine. As they are driving, their 2 ton vehicles.
Actually, I did yell at some Mexican dude last week for illigally turning left, when I was walking threw a green light person, walking sign. Look, I just want to tell Government officials, restaurant owners, mall owners, supermarket owners, or just anyone that owns a stop light or public bathroom. One I'm 37 years old, and I know how to read. If illegal aliens can't even learn how to read: "stop" or "go" signs. Then it's Darwin's rules if they get hit by a 2 ton vehicle, which is being driven by some meth doer. For those, that don't know what Darwin's rules are. They are: if you die for some stupid reason, then it's only making the rest of humanity smarter, by getting rid of the weakest links. And restroom owners: I and most of America, is smart enough to flush the toilet, wash our hands, and read sign's that say "stop" and "go". I really miss the ability of flushing my own poop and piss down the toilet. Don't you? There needs to be new rules applied to America: the right to flush your crap, the right to wash your hands, using something called nobs. Along with the right to read stop and go signs in English. Giving us our simplest rights. Like being able to adjust the watter temperature, and reading signs in English. What happens if the power ever went out? Will people lose their ability to go to the bathroom? Why does America have to be so accommodating, to people who won't learn the simplest forms of English? Really, you couldn't learn how to read a stop and go sign. Plus, could we find those same kind of accommodations, in most non-English-speaking countries?
So back to the discussion - pedestrians have the right of way, when crossing the street. But they sure don't in Cali, or at least that's what I've experienced. Good luck to your morning walks to Starbucks, but do me a favor. If a Truck almost runs you over, could you please flip him off for me. Thanks. That would really make me smile. And this is the end of toady's deep thought moment.
So, I've been writing for two whole days, no, or is it three? I Still have the flu, so don't judge my writing skills. I feel like my head is stuck, in a big plastic bag, and I'm hyperventilating.
So here's my next mind blowing funny thought for today, well it's not funny if you really think about it. But, I guess, it might be, if you like cruel-sick-humor. OK, your like, please for God's sake Sophia, get to the fricking point. Alright, the voices in my head, please stop yelling at me. Stop yelling on my cold medicine stupor, and get to the point. Has anyone ever tried crossing the street lately? Do you realize, that every time you walk out your front door, you are really taking your own life into your hands. Oh my God, I didn't realize, until this month, just how many bad drivers there are driving trucks out there.
OK, as I eat lunch, I'm writing this, for your information. Well, I love this T.V show called Tosh.O, the comedian who makes fun of people, who put their vid's on the web. He had this one black guy on his show, who was rapping. I guess, he was trying to make a hand held rap video, with his friend's help. Anyway, he started bouncing around, attempting to rap, in the middle of the street. Can you guys ques what happened next: to this wizard turned rapper? Home-rapper got hit! Oh, if you're thinking by a car, you'd be dead
wrong. He actually got hit by an Ice Cream Truck. Man, even Ice Cream Truck Drivers, can't drive anymore. It's not like he couldn't see him dancing around: acting like a mad-man in the middle of the street. This douche-bag ice cream truck driver just didn't care.
A little secret for you guys, in wonder land out there: I hate truck drivers! Most of them should not be driving a truck or any vehicle for that matter. Maybe a lawn mower, if it doesn't actually have to be driven. I'm not talking about the guys whom haul tons of stuff that we use every day. I'm talking about those idiots out there, who where bad drivers in the first place. Who actually thought: "people will stop thinking I look gay, when I drive this." Just like the dudes, who drive sports car's, who are thinking: A. "I will get laid more, while I drive this. Or B. "I won't look so old, while driving this." There's only one difference between sports car's and Trucks: size! You really need to know the rules of the road, before you should be allowed to operate a 2 ton vehicle. Wow, this month alone, I have almost been hit 5 times by trucks that where illegally turning, or going threw red stop signs.
Look, you can survive, or you might survive a crash with a sports car, if he or she isn't driving over 30 mph threw a cross walk. But could anyone survive being hit by a truck, that is going faster than 15 miles an hour? Can everyone say: probably not. Worse case scenario, you are trying to cross the street, dressed in your wall street best suit: why? You where going to pick up some Starbucks for the crew at the office, and you wanted some exercise. You didn't want to find your car, or something. So you really weren't paying attention to the fact, that the light was in the middle of turning red. The light had started to flash. So you started walking anyway. You where thinking at that moment that: "everyone is going to be so happy that I got them their serving of Vanilla Lattes today." Then suddenly, a truck driving threw the intersection at 20 miles and hour, because he's about to be late for work. Due to the fact he has been busy snorting meth, to get his day started, right before heading to the office. Then he hits you while you're crossing the street. There goes the Vanilla Lattes up in the sky, tops have flipped off, coffee's splashing everywhere. Meanwhile, your lying on the ground, chocking on your own blood, about to breath your last breath. Your last thoughts probably might be: "I should have taken my car", and "damn I hate trucks!" I mean that's extreme, but trust me lots of truck driving idiots, don't care about your life or mine. As they are driving, their 2 ton vehicles.
Actually, I did yell at some Mexican dude last week for illigally turning left, when I was walking threw a green light person, walking sign. Look, I just want to tell Government officials, restaurant owners, mall owners, supermarket owners, or just anyone that owns a stop light or public bathroom. One I'm 37 years old, and I know how to read. If illegal aliens can't even learn how to read: "stop" or "go" signs. Then it's Darwin's rules if they get hit by a 2 ton vehicle, which is being driven by some meth doer. For those, that don't know what Darwin's rules are. They are: if you die for some stupid reason, then it's only making the rest of humanity smarter, by getting rid of the weakest links. And restroom owners: I and most of America, is smart enough to flush the toilet, wash our hands, and read sign's that say "stop" and "go". I really miss the ability of flushing my own poop and piss down the toilet. Don't you? There needs to be new rules applied to America: the right to flush your crap, the right to wash your hands, using something called nobs. Along with the right to read stop and go signs in English. Giving us our simplest rights. Like being able to adjust the watter temperature, and reading signs in English. What happens if the power ever went out? Will people lose their ability to go to the bathroom? Why does America have to be so accommodating, to people who won't learn the simplest forms of English? Really, you couldn't learn how to read a stop and go sign. Plus, could we find those same kind of accommodations, in most non-English-speaking countries?
So back to the discussion - pedestrians have the right of way, when crossing the street. But they sure don't in Cali, or at least that's what I've experienced. Good luck to your morning walks to Starbucks, but do me a favor. If a Truck almost runs you over, could you please flip him off for me. Thanks. That would really make me smile. And this is the end of toady's deep thought moment.
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