Man, it's totally flooding today, and even though, I'm writing this post for you, party people. When I should be totally doing the laundry. I'm writing today's deep thought moment. Man, my last post was extreme! Wasn't it? I just hate wars! And always having to say: "Hera, we're in another, long-winded, unsavoury war." Yes, are bombers aren't collecting dust, by bombing those bad guys. But...so what?" Isn't anyone else, as sick of wars...as I am?
What to discuss... it's not so easy, to write on the daily, and keep coming up with, something that's relevant, and makes sense. OK, here's another deep thought moment, that I can talk about. Why? Because...unfortunately, I have one of these types of people, in my family. Lets talk about "Phonies!" Has anyone out their, in reader island, had to deal with a phony? You guys gotta know, what a phony is... right? A phony, in case there is a person out there, who doesn't know. Is a person, who hates your guts, loathes you, is jealous of you, and secretly would love to destroy you. While simultaneously, watching the plane you took off in, dive nose first, into the ground! These people, (if you can call them that), will smile in your face, laugh and act like they love you and your jokes. While wishing for your untimely demise! So now that you understand, what a phony is. Let us proceed with the story... shall we?
Let's say you have a friend named Clara, now you met Clara, while you where working in England and grabbing your luggage. During a plane flight that you had just stepped off of. She seemed nice enough, you two became best friends, while you where staying in England. Then the two of you became inseparable! Now you got a lucky break, while working as a stock-broker, for a high end firm. You received a giant raise, which was in the triple figures range. OK, now you knew that Clara was your bestest friend in the whole world. Until... you actually told Clara, that you had received that raise. That's when your friendship took a nose dive! One day, you decided to take Clara, to your favorite coffee shop. Both of you loved that coffee shop. While ordering coffee; that's when Clara the phony appeared! Clara was standing next to you, while in front of the cashier. The Cashier asked you. How your life was going? You where about to awnser him. When Clara, decided to butt in and say; "oh yea, my friend got a raise, not because she's qualified, but because she's the bosses Friend." After saying this, Clara gives the cashier, a wink-wink. Clara's embarrassed you, in front of a cashier. A cashier, which you have known, for a couple of years. You ask Clara; "why the hell, did she do that?" She answers you with a giggle, and a "you know I love you, and you're my bestest friend in the whole world, don't you?" Now that's what a real phony is!
Let's say you have this other friend. His name is Paul. Now Paul and you met in college. You guys would go to college party's. Hang with friends, and drink bear bongs together. You guys, did everything together, in a none-sexual way. Until one day, when you borrowed Paul's car keys. That's when, you got in a head on collision, while driving Paul's car. You wound up being in a coma, for 10 long years. When you woke up, everything had changed! Stuff that used to be on the corner, had been torn down, and new buildings and malls, had sprung up, all over town. You didn't recognize your own city anymore. You then decided to call Paul, your best friend. Calling him two weeks after, waking up from your coma... Paul answers, and the two of you, decide to hang out. Just like old times! But...once you're hanging out with Paul. You've noticed that he's become a phony-pompous-idiot! While hanging out, he kept ignoring you. Paul then decided, that it was a good idea, to act better then you. Why? Because... he has moved on. Since you had your accident 10 years ago. While you had been in a coma. Now the both of you are 30 somethings, instead of being the 21 somethings that you where when you first started hanging out. Paul has changed, sense you guy's originally, started hanging out. So Paul's life, and all of your friends lives, have moved ahead. Most of your old friends, are now in relationships. Or...those friends, have either gotten married, are making money, or own their own businesses. All of which, happened, after they graduated from college. While your life, just stopped at 21, because... you where trapped in a coma. Now if Paul hadn't been such a giant-phony, and was a real friend. He would have been cool enough, to try and understand what you have been going threw. But... he's not! So being, the big-fat-phony that he is! Every time he sees you. He really thinks, you're a bad joke. Paul will then secretly laugh about what happened to you. Of course he'll do it behind your back. While simultaneously, telling you, to your face; how much he loves and adores being your friend. Now that's another example of a phony.
OK, you have this aunt. You never see this aunt. You guys aren't friends! But what you do know about your aunt is, she's an unscrupulous-gold-digger. Who's secretly draining your inheritance! while simultaneously, spending it, on her monthly supply of botox. You can't stand the bitch! You're waiting for the right moment, to tell this giant phony, to go f*ck herself! You've also seen your whole family, kissing this bitches ass. Now this shit has been going on, for your whole life! But...for the life of you. You have never really understood why? Why your entire family; put this evil-monster, on a pedestal. While treating your dad, and immediate family like dirt! When you where younger, you where forced to go to her fancy, uptight diner party's, in Encino. You hated Encino, because it was dedicated, to the pompous-elite of the Valley. So every time you saw your Aunt, you wanted to vomit. Why? Because you always knew; that she was a true piece of work! Later, when you where grown up, and had to come visit. When your grandparents still remembered who you where. She was all they could ever talk about. They didn't even ask you about your accomplishments. Or...what you may have done. Or...about any of the accomplishments, you may have ever accomplished. Your Aunt was your families chosen one. But...she's a GIANT-PHONY! So one day, your forced to live with your family, because of the recession. but...also due to the fact, that you lost your high paying job. Now, your forced to deal with your aunt, on a monthly basses. Something you try to escape from, every time the phony bitch, decides to rear her, ugly face. Why? Because... all she ever does is bitch, about how everything sucks, while visiting. Meanwhile, she's secretly lying to your family, about how awful you are. Probably...so she can get your relatives, to f*ck you out of your inheritance. Now that's a supper-phony at work! She'll laugh and joke with you, like you where best Friends. Even after, you have told her, to kiss your ass! But...this phony, will still try to slowly, stab you in the back.
So my best advice, when dealing with phonies, is to tell those S.O.B's, to stay the hell away from you. Or...your going to hunt down a witch doctor, to put a curse on their asses. Anyway, that's the end, of this deep thought moment and don't forget your umbrella.
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