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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dealing with the INSANE in the Valley!

 By Linda Mains

I'm no big football, I'm probably not going to take my only day off, watching a punch of big dudes running after a ball that looks like Stewie's head. I just think, it's an immense waste of time, but Americans and most of the rest of the world; waste hours watching other people doing stuff. Why do we do that?

I've also noticed that at least in America, I can't really speak for the rest of the world...but there sure are a lot of narcissists running around. You remember the Greek story, about the hot-guy whom turned down the Nymphs advances...and then fell in love with his own reflection? Are we the society where Narcissism is the rule, and not just something that has happened to the few; because little Bobbies daddy and Mommy didn't love him enough?

You're probably asking me; exactly what is a narcissist anyway? It's a person that only see's themselves as the most important people in their can run into these types at work, while running around, in your personal friendships; or they could be your relatives, lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wife's? Whom ever they are to you, you'll find out, that they totally suck.

Why do they suck? Well at work; they'll dominate all the inter-office conversations with the one topic that these types of people find interesting which is "themselves!" All this talk will include talk about what they find important, what they think is pertinent to any conversation...and what they are doing. If you don't stroke there ego's by telling them how good they look or how great they are, or how great their ideas out, your in for it! These types of people, can turn on you on a dime...and they will forget about you just as fast; while moving on to someone whom will inflate their ego's better then you do!  Their ego's will need your constant stroking. Narcissistic people will suck the life and energy right out of you because of that fact.

So whats the best way to deal with people like these then? Setting boundary's...because most narcissists don't know where they end and you start. It's always about you will be asked to give up way to much personal information to these types; so that they will always have an invisible string to keep you attached to them permanently. The more dirt they have on you; it can and will be used against you at a latter date, as a scare tactic to threaten you, to keep you in the relationship with them. Oh and they will flip out on a dime on you too...especially if you don't agree with their grandiose plans or believes about themselves.

I believe people put so much emphasis on the material things in life, like; new cars, brand named merchandise, designer this and that, and they put so many worthless famous people on pedestals, that many people in our society have wanted to achieve a narcissistic life style. Which only makes their narcissistic condition worse, and these people are impossible to live and deal with, because they love to take advantage of everybody around will never be able to ever give a narcissist enough, love, sex...praise or whatever it is that they believe that they need at the time. All of which will eventually lead to major blow-outs in any relationship that you might have with them.

So what can you do if you're confronted by a hardcore narcissist? Well I believe you really need to pay attention to what anyone that you are talking to has to say. The best way to know if you're are dealing with one; is to wait to see if they ask you how you are? Usually they will never really want to know how you're doing. Why? Because narcissists always have their own agenda's. When I say agenda's; I mean they are obsessed with a person's appearance, intelligence, success or all of those things, and as soon as they find someone, who is better then you at those things, you will be forgotten. I don't want to call a narcissist a phony-person...because they really believe their own bullshit.  Maybe we should call them the misery makers of the world?

I also believe that this epidemic in our society is setting most of us up to be "really huge" sitting ducks. Why? Because our government is passing laws and doing things secretly behind our backs...while most of us our so self-absorbed, while floating in our narcissistic-little-worlds, about how great our lives are. That some of us couldn't possible stick one foot out of our delusional-little-worlds to take a long hard look at the reality of our situations in this country; something that they socialists in office are counting on. Why? Because by the time the majority of our narcissistic society wakes up; it will be too late! A lot of America is in debt...we have to many payments, all to live in an unattainable narcissistic life style, all so our children and babies can wear designer clothes. This is especially true in door to where I live, the neighbors have turned a track house, into the perfect home...they have spent thousands of dollars, on their narcissistic dreams. I believe right now; we have a narcissistic President in President Barack Obama a narcissist? He and his wife sure look like they are too me...I could be wrong, but I'm probably not. 

Life is already so complicated for most of us in America...does it really need to get any worse? Narcissists are really charismatic-people and they draw others towards them, because they need a constant stream of people to constantly stroke their egos to tell them how great they are on the daily. So you will never see a narcissist alone. Will this state of affairs ever change in America? As long as advertisers put it in our heads that it's cool to be a narcissist, then I really don't believe that America is capable of changing. For change to occur in America, people would have to actually become aware that they are narcissist in the first place, and they'd have to be willing to change...something that most true-narcissists are incapable of doing.

Plus if you ever see someone treating another person badly; what makes you think that eventually somewhere down the line, they won't start treating you that same way? I for one, am here to tell you, from experience, that they will treat you badly eventually or anyone that they are close too. I realize that we can't hide from these types of people in society. So what is the best way to handle narcissists then? I really believe that drawing boundary's from the get go, and not losing yourself to these types of people, is the only way to deal with any true narcissist. The worst thing that can happen to any human-being is the loss of self! Hopefully we can all learn to love ourselves better, so that we won't be trapped with a narcissist. When  you actually love yourself; not meaning being in love with yourself, you would never let anyone treat you that way.  

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